


startle the snake

by lightofthewind



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightofthewind/pseuds/lightofthewind
Summary: Minami wanted to think he was operating with (a semblance of) a plan. Instead, everything was getting all muddled.





	startle the snake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mulkki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mulkki/gifts).



It was a typical December night. The cold, yet still, air fiercely bit every nook and cranny of skin it came in contact with. Regardless of how many layers you wore to protect yourself, the chill managed to burrow into your bones and reach everywhere.

It wasn’t snowing yet, but it might as well be.

But despite the daunting atmospheric conditions the street was no less busy, with strangers walking by in all directions, either in groups, excitedly celebrating together, occasionally bursting into laughter or random singing, or in duos, matching their footsteps, hand in hand or, where that wasn’t the case, hanging close enough to each other that the blush on their cheeks was likely not at all due to the low temperature but rather a product of more  _ sentimental  _ reasons.

There was even the occasional family with little kids that had decided to brave the weather here and there.

It wasn’t usual to find Minami out at this hour this time of the year, but it also wouldn’t be an inedit event. After his stay in Northmare, he’d grown used to an even harsher climate, so this was nothing remarkable. In fact, there was something comforting about feeling the frost invade his lungs, and watching the visible vestiges of air he purposely exhaled in response - perhaps these tiny wisps were an attempt at sharing his warmth… or getting rid of it faster, he couldn’t tell.

Ever since Sakura Haruki, there was so much about himself and his motivations which was difficult to discern how deep he had to dig to find the real truth. Somewhere along the way, his heart had become a twisted mess, buried deep in layers of self-preservation and unsuccessful efforts at patching the blows he’d been consistently dealt throughout his life. It had become a labyrinth impossible to navigate even to its owner.

He wanted to stay with Haruki, be with him until the inevitable end. He wanted to forget he existed and save himself from further suffering, from experiencing the impending loss - one that was impossible to postpone but that he might still be in time to distance himself from as much as possible.

He wanted Haruki to go through as much pain as he had been in, the minute he realized what exactly was going on. He wanted Haruki’s last moments to be filled with accomplishment, for him to fulfill the dreams he had never-endingly pursued and had blind faith in - a last reunion with Zero and protecting Rokuya Nagi’s happiness.

He wanted to destroy Rokuya Nagi’s ignorant and blissful days, to drag him into the same hell Minami was living through. He wanted someone to share this loss with him. He wanted,  _ craved _ , for Rokuya Nagi’s timely intervention, a last-ditch effort to try and stop what he feared the most from coming into fruition. If it were Nagi, Haruki would have no choice but to  _ listen _ . He would have prevailed where Minami had bombastically failed.

Every one of these thoughts were true, in all their beautiful contradiction. And yet, there was falsehood in them as well. Minami couldn’t pinpoint the core of the issue, the path that he should take so he could be at peace, regardless of the aftermath. It seemed like no matter what he chose to do, it would all be worthless, the wrong choice. He felt utterly trapped in regretting what could be yet to be and the despair was consuming him.

That’s where ZOOL had come, a chance to vent all his feelings outwards. At the industry that had consumed him until he couldn’t tell his days apart, all of them entirely shadowed in grey, dull and lifeless, to the point that he had forgotten what all his sacrifices were supposed to be  _ for _ . At his mother, always tacitly leading him towards the future she envisioned him to need, and not necessarily want for himself. At himself, for giving in, time and time again, molding himself to others’ expectations, trying to make everyone around happy and forgetting to pursue his own happiness, letting his dreams fall through in the process, until he had fallen out of touch with whom he really was.

Indeed, as troublesome as it was admitting it to himself, if it weren’t for ZOOL he probably would have been having an even harder time dealing with the mess his life had ended up becoming.

Just like Haruki had predicted, he had found people to bring his songs to life. Not in an artificial, fake, premeditated way. They weren’t after glory or fame. Not as anything other than the means to an end, anyway. They were merely bursting forward, four black holes with their raw energy, absorbing everything and everyone in their orbit, without caring about the consequences.

No matter how different each of their backgrounds and personalities were, how guarded in their own way they had grown to be, they carried themselves straightforwardly, with honesty, even. 

It was the most beautiful thing Minami had been a part of, the aggressive and forceful synergy up there in the stage, so frightening in its intensity and how out of their own control it seemed at times. There was a vulnerability there on the edges, looking about to burst at any point, engulfing them and dooming them, but also,  _ possibly _ , setting them free.   
It made him thrilled, curious to know what was left in store for them, on the other side of the explosion.

Minami’s musings were interrupted by a deep voice entering his ears. 

“I can’t believe I arrived late and still have to wait,” Torao complained. “What on earth is Minami doing?”

“So you did do it on purpose!” Touma interjected, predictably.

“Why don’t we get going anyway? I want to eat my shortcake right away.”

Smiling to himself, Minami fastened his pace, and haughtily greeted the trio. “Isumi-san, where are your manners? I thought I was raising you better than that.”

“You’re the one in the wrong here, making us all wait for you.” Haruka rebuffed.

“Fufu, you have a point there. My apologies. Let’s not waste any more time, then.”


End file.
